The Begum Chronicles

ChaiChutneyPolitics is proud to be present "The Diary of Noreen Begum." A woman of formidable fashion, she is married to Major General Assad Akhter, and recounts her daily life as a member of Lahore's elite.

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August 2010

Too much has happened this past week, I just do not know if I can take it. I had despaired of my 22-year old Mona ever marrying. She was getting too old for suitable rishtas. Assad and I kept trying and found potentials – a couple of them were very good, but she rejected them all. One was a doctor living in the United States! His salary was great, so we could forget we hate Americans. Anyway, he was very impressive. Another was an engineer who came from such a good family in Islamabad – such good people, you know Journal, they have donated much to the flood victims. Ohh that story I cannot bear to watch on tv for too long. Hamid Mir knows that we are very sensitive. He obliges by spending most of his airtime blasting the government. Honestly, what are Zardari and Gilani doing to stop the water? Nothing, that’s what.

Anyway back to Mona. She now tells me she has rejected all the suitors we have found for her because she has a boyfriend and wants to marry him! Imagine this! What would my two best friends, Jugni and Shaista, say? Mona sat down at dinner yesterday and told her father and I. Assad knows the boy, or rather the boy’s family. They are businessmen. His name is Faisal Sheikh, an heir to the business. He doesn’t really do much, but then he is an heir. Assad said he didn’t have a problem – we probably would have found him for Mona anyway. He will meet with Faisal’s father soon. After I realized I would suffer no public humiliation, I quickly realized I had a wedding to plan! I rushed to tell Nona, my 17-year old son, who by the way is a star student at Aitchison. He seemed happy for his sister but not very enthusiastic when I mentioned all the work ahead for this elaborate wedding. He looked at me and said, “You’re going to spend something like half a crore when there are millions homeless because of the floods?” and then he walked out.



Batameez!

“Naveed, come back here this instant!”

I heard the door slam. Children today are so opinionated. It’s really just rude.
Chalo, I have to call Jugni and Shaista. Shaista has a 21-year old daughter…still unmarried.

One Thousand Wars & No Unity

If there was ever a time to rally for Pakistan, it is now. The headlines of the past several months narrate one of the worst periods in Pakistan’s short history. Pakistan’s emerging democracy faces calamity after calamity. Poverty, education reforms, infrastructure development, and health initiatives are all equally important concerns that require immediate attention. As the Pakistani government focused on providing real solutions, the country was hit with one of the worst natural disasters in modern history. The truth of the matter is this: Pakistan is fighting one thousand wars within its borders.

Years of living under brutal dictators did not stop Pakistan’s push for democracy. As a democratically-elected government gingerly gained its footing, there was real hope that it would be first administration to finish its term. Pakistan was, and is, very close to setting this all-important precedent. But the floods have created what President Zardari calls the “ideal hope of the radical,” that the disaster has discredited the civilian government and paved the way for potential chaos.

It should be noted that though terrorists across the Islamic world differ in strategy, their common denominator remains their ability to exploit political disunity to their advantage. The President defended the country’s response to the floods, arguing his government is rising to its duty and doing the absolute most it can in the face of such devastation. This begs the question, is any government ever prepared to see one-fifth of its country underwater or incur damages reaching $43 billion? The destruction of the floods is almost beyond comprehension. Funds specifically allocated to a myriad of projects -- building schools, health clinics, paving roads, assisting the poor – have been redirected to relief for flood victims, slowing the efforts to focus on those crucial problems. Pakistan requires years of continued development and assistance to recover from what the UN Secretary General describes a “slow-moving tsunami.” The UN described the floods as a test of “global solidarity.”

For Pakistan, then, this is a test of national solidarity. The floods are yet another national crisis the country must meet head-on. The crippling generational-poverty keeps education and opportunity from the masses. Families are forced to send their children to work, depriving them of a change of improving their quality of life. In a country where labor-laws are either non-existent or not enforced, this is a tragedy the country suffers every single day.
The social attitudes are another aspect that keeps Pakistanis from progressing. The nonchalant acceptance of discrimination of minorities is an ugly truth in today’s Pakistan. The internal cancer of extremism has been alleviated in the northern areas – thanks to the sharp leadership of Gen. Kayani – but it is by no means abated and has spread to Pakistan’s cities.

This is a time for national solidarity and unity. Our leaders must have a cogent plan going forward, with no gaps extremists might slink through. Already there are reports of extremists providing aid and recruiting the flood victims to their agenda. We have a wonderful example set by the PPP and PML-N. At a press conference last week, Prime Minister Gilani and Nawaz Sharif announced their plan to work together towards the full and complete rehabilitation of the 20 million affected by the floods. That is a shining example of leaders coming together to generate ideas on how to better lead the people.
Pakistan’s leaders are all united in agreement against the gruesome lynching of two brothers in Sialkot. The grainy video footage captured by an eye-witness has horrified the nation. The public’s reaction is clear: surely we must hold on to our humanity in the midst of difficult times, surely we are not bereft of humanity. Leaders across the political stage, from Governor Salmaan Taseer to CM Shahbaz Sharif, have declared the perpetrators will be brought to justice and that such acts must never be allowed to happen again.

On the other side of the spectrum, we have people who haven’t learned a thing from history. Leader of the Muttahida Qaumi Movement Altaf Hussain called for “patriotic generals” to impose martial law upon the country. This, he declared, would be the best way to help the country out of this disaster. Mr. Hussain fails to realize that the harsh periods of martial law in Pakistani history are seen as the worst for development and education. To debate the merits of democracy versus martial law is to waste the country’s time. We cannot fill the airwaves with a smokescreen issue that so cruelly takes away from many other pressing matters.

Pakistanis must reject the cacophony of the ignorant, continue to fortify democratic institutions and most of all, tackle the crises with true patriotic zeal. Political point-scoring and delusions of martial law’s grandeur must have no place in our narrative. Whenever any Pakistani feels angry, he must only stop and think of the consequences. Anger is what feeds the extremists, who have no respect for innocent lives, and even in the face of natural disaster choose to unleash violence upon a suffering people. Anger is what divides our leaders and fails our people. These are the millions of people who are desperate for help. We must rise to do our duties by them, and rise together, as one nation.

Kindness has never weakened a nation and true patriotism has never hurt it. Only by banding together can Pakistanis effectively overcome the severe crises it currently faces.

Think of the mothers

All images of flood victims are heartbreaking. But it is the faces of the mothers that keep me awake at night. I see the women of my mother country and I instinctively think of my own mom.

My mother is every bit a Pakistani woman. Her stern demeanor tries to hush up her inner tenderness. My siblings and I were raised on a rigid routine, almost army-like, but what I remember most about my childhood are my mom’s smiles when I made her happy. I like to think I’ve inherited her smile, something she hides at first but can’t suppress, until it lights up her entire face and the whole family. I have seen her face when she is hurt and upset, and it pierces my heart. As Pakistanis, we love our mothers fiercely. It is them who we think of in pain, and it is them we credit for our accomplishments. A favorite saying, “no success exists without a mother’s blessing” rings true.


These thoughts ran through my mind as I read about women in the “tent cities.” Women sat and stared at the walls, without speaking. Many of these women had watched their children die or had lost them somewhere along the evacuation and settling into camps. This level of trauma is beyond comprehension. Of the women blessed enough to have their entire families with them, the lack of food, clothing or a dry place to sleep kept them anxious and desperate. They say that a mother is the soul of a family. Then these women are the soul of Pakistan.

We need their blessing.

Once all the flood victim efforts are underway and we are helping to set up the families, we must begin with the women. They will know how to do the most with the supplies given and waste nothing. They will put their entire families ahead of them, as Pakistani mothers do. They will never complain but comfort their loved ones, promising to take care of them. We have to do what we can for them, so they may do what they can for families.

It is the job of the government to step up and do as much as it can, but this crisis is bigger than that. It requires every single Pakistani to do his or her part. This is our country, and she is our responsibility. The devastation of the floods has not received the international coverage other disasters have, but there is one glimmer of hope. Stunned Pakistanis all across the world, expats who had left 20, 30, 40 years ago, have donated supplies and money. This is a beautiful spirit of nationalism and a very genuine love for Pakistan. We all must do our part, nahin, we must all do more than we can, and we should start with the mothers. Perhaps it is their prayers alone that can bring about the peaceful future Pakistan deserves.